How to Free Yourself From Expectations

The Right Question

For most of my career as advisor for Results Based Monitoring (RBM) I supported government and NGO teams in changing their perspective and approach to the way projects are planned, implemented and monitored. RBM is about asking the right question. The most important shift was moving from asking “Why” to asking “What for”. Over the years and decades thousands of projects have been implemented around the world in reaction to an undesired situation. Wells were drilled, schools and hospitals built,…

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What happens when we no longer expect anything

For a very long time we have held on to the belief that unless we expect, claim, request and ask for what ‘is ours’ we will not get it. Countless courses to help people be more assertive stress the importance to – if not aggressively, then at least firmly demand our expectations to be fulfilled and our needs to be met.

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Why We Must Act Without Motive

Whenever we set goals, we’re encouraged to explore the why behind the goal. That makes a lot of sense, because the universe has its own way of delivery.

I’m beginning to understand something else, though. There is another place where the why should never enter.

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What is the Price for Belonging?

A lot of our expectations are not our own. Culture shapes what we think about the world, about what people, including us, should do and how we should all be. Cultural norms – which are nothing but expectations – define what success is, how a marriage is supposed to run, how children are to be raised and even what happiness consists of. Social animals that we are, we strive to adhere cultural expectations, lest we be excluded from the happy zoo of conformity.

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Don’t Like What’s Happening? Read This.

Most of us live our lives as if whatever goes on within our minds is the ultimate truth in the world. We take everything personal. From our in-law’s comment to the neighbor’s dog poo on our front yard to the rain on our barbeque. They all seem out to get us sometimes. After all, they KNOW how you feel about this, don’t they?
Let’s get some perspective then and see how truly nothing is or will ever be personal.

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I am safe

You see, it is one thing to face the Beast and KNOW that you’re alone. When you KNOW that no one has your back, you never even attempt to glimpse over your shoulder to find support. You face the Beast head on. Then, maybe, maybe the Beast is puzzled by your grim determination.

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6 Steps to Befriend Your Fears and Get a Life

I could start the article by suggesting that the corona virus was developed and spread by the toilet paper industry, but that would be a lame joke. In fact, I don’t want to talk about COVID-19 at all. I want to talk about fears. Not THE FEAR. Fears.

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