For a very long time we have held on to the belief that unless we expect, claim, request and ask for what ‘is ours’ we will not get it. Countless courses to help people be more assertive stress the importance to – if not aggressively, then at least firmly demand our expectations to be fulfilled and our needs to be met.
Whenever we set goals, we’re encouraged to explore the why behind the goal. That makes a lot of sense, because the universe has its own way of delivery.
I’m beginning to understand something else, though. There is another place where the why should never enter.
We’re told that everything happens for a reason. But really, what good could possibly lie in those everyday irritating instances such as having to rummage through your bag once again to find the train ticket, which – of course – has hidden in the last folded corner of the bag?
I could start the article by suggesting that the corona virus was developed and spread by the toilet paper industry, but that would be a lame joke. In fact, I don’t want to talk about COVID-19 at all. I want to talk about fears. Not THE FEAR. Fears.
So, here we are having understood that expecting other people to make us happy doesn’t work. That we are the ones responsible for our own happiness. And what do we do? We beat ourselves up for not making ourselves happy. Raise your hand if that’s what you do.
Last night something happened.
I’m scared.
My mind runs its movie.
They say the best way to avoid your own tantrum is to count to ten.
It’s never worked for me.
We have been raised and conditioned to believe that we need to heal to be ok. That we have to undergo therapy. That we have to overcome this or that or the other. That we have to work hard. That only time heals all wounds (how much time? They never say). That we have to wait For our parents to recognize us. For our children to forgive us. For our man to love us. For our friends to support us.…
Few terms get the heat up as quickly as ‘fake’ these days. Everybody hates the fakes.
Except here is the truth: We are all fakes.