Photo by Rowan Heuvel on Unsplash
Where is the end of our expectations? For a very long time we have held on to the belief that unless we expect, claim, request and ask for what ‘is ours’ we will not get it. Countless courses to help people be more assertive stress the importance to – if not aggressively, then at least firmly demand our expectations to be fulfilled and our needs to be met. There is nothing wrong with moving out of our victim hole and assuming our inherent right to shine and be happy. The error lies in the belief that this light and happiness should come from anywhere else than from within us.
Error of thinking
The reason we often feel that we just can’t make people provide what we expect is that this is true. We cannot make people make us happy and fulfill all of our needs and dreams. The single source of suffering lies in our searching for salvation and the fulfillment of our emotional needs somewhere outside our own being.
The second error is thinking that the opposite of expecting everything from others is to expect nothing for ourselves. This is not true. Indeed, both ideas originate from the thought that we do not have anything. That there is a void within us. A void either others fill or we have to leave empty for all eternity. It’s actually quite simple: the opposite of empty is full. It is understanding that we have everything within us to fill this imaginary void. The opposite of expectations is the realization that we already have what we need.
Instead of resigning to nothing, once we let go of our expectations towards others, we gain our freedom. An incredible freedom to be who we are, to feel what we feel and to receive what we desire.
The end of emotional expectations is the beginning of freedom.